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The same things you say to yourself? This could be a of insecurity or of a lack of self-esteem on his part that he might need to reflect on. Or would you tell her to give him a running kick out the door? Yiu of men still like the way I look. I am so angry at him that I have not spoken to him.

I suspect that, while you continued to see each other on a daily basis, it was easy to fool yourself into thinking the divorce had never happened. His pestering you about wrinkles? There is a reason for that.

Explore the Intent of His Comments One aft the first things you can do to try busband improve your marriage is to sit down with your husband and have a long talk about why your weight is so important to him. What do you think? Anything challenging that will take you out of yourself, take you to new places or some new directions anything new that will help you deal with this loss more easily.

While husbanx in approach aren't necessarily bad things — they can help to give a balanced view — I agree that parenting is far more effective when there is agreement. His irrational badgering about your weight, your clothes, your skin, your looks?

I've tried to get him to understand that this is important but he just shrugs it off. Of course, he might be genuinely concerned about your health, rather than your looks, and is simply not communicating that well.

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It may be he's afraid that the new, slimmer you will be attractive to other men and you won't be attracted to him anymore. If you already have certain goals about your body image, keep them going. Determine what goals feel right for you about your health and body image.

If so, he might be trying to have you measure up to the standards portrayed there, maybe without even realizing it. His anger at your getting older? One more question, Miss Soft: What image of womanhood is your husband presenting to your kids with his flood of abuse toward you? Hard though it might be, it will be better for all concerned if you can continue to operate as a team.

I wonder if you're worrying that if there is a new woman in their father's life, the children will build a relationship over which you have no control. So, if you are gaining weight, you are far from alone.

Our son is already very aggressive and I am sure the atmosphere in the house husnand helping. Day by day the relationship can wear you down, and a worn out coexistence can open new wounds or maintain old pains. Don't give up, though — if you keep losing weight, he won't be able to make fat jokes anyway. It might be wise to request a check up with your family doctor to see if there are physical reasons for the gain in weight.

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No one controls your worth and self-esteem except you. What caused you to gain the weight? Have you ever wondered? He's not taking his medication OUR GP told my husband he has raised blood pressure and put him on medication. Go out and explore a new place. Consider ypur these words of self-affirmation: "My self-worth is not determined by the on the scale," or "I am more than my appearance. Every item on this was chosen by an ELLE editor.

What are you facing today?

Do not judge: Be sensitive. Unfortunately, being 20 to 30 pounds overweight is not what is best for the heart, digestive organs, or lungs. Encourage him to talk about this and see if you can find out what is bothering him. Avoid letting your husband control the goals that you have for your health, your happiness, and your life. If you need someone to help you, please contact one of our free and confidential mentors through the "Connect" tab below.

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Secondly, please don't be discouraged by your husband's thoughtless comments, if he's overweight himself, he's probably feeling whej bit threatened by your obvious success. The truth is that being overweight stresses your body.

The doctor said it was nothing to worry about and as long as he used the prescribed medication, it shouldn't unduly affect his life. You need to do the same. Everybody who gets fat has a story.

Ask e. jean: my husband constantly fat-shames me--should i leave him?

I'm sure that won't be the case, but you need to recognise that it's important they spend time with their father and that will mean spending time with her too. Maybe if we got counseling I would reconsider trying to work things out but right now I do not want to. To be honest, it took a bit of all the above plus, courage to do what her husband did. Choose at least 3 things to write about.

But this should never be a tit-for-tat argument.

Dear abby: i know i’m fat but i’m hurt that he said so

Have a night out with your friends. Sometimes an objective third party can help you both see what the real issues are. Porn is so prevalent today, and although most men consider it harmless, it can slowly jusband their perception of women, even their wives. Find ways to feel good about who you are beyond what your husband says.

Follow the ideas and discover the importance of adopting a more compassionate attitude within yourself. Establish A Realistic Plan Analyze your lifestyle habits.

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Usually, all it takes is simple blood tests. I only see him when he calls to collect the children and if I call with a problem, he as good as says 'Sort it out yourself'. If you have a problem you'd like Fiona's advice with, help askfiona.